Killing Curiosity With Blame And Praise

— body language by Weddie Thiên  —​

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Oh, listen, my friend, there's a blunder so grand,

Made by parents and teachers all over the land!

They want children to learn, and they want it so bad,

That they try every trick that the grown-ups have had.

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When you get the thing right, you get praise and a star,

When you don't, you get frowns that say, "Look where you are!"

Then they wag a big finger and tell you, "Take care,

Think about your future! Your future beware!"

Approval, disapproval, a nudge and a shove,

From the people who give you their worry and love.

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They're desperate, they're frantic, they fret and they stew,

"Will you learn what you should? Will you make it all through?

You must work the long hours, get the grades that amaze!

And they swing those sharp tools, both the blame and the praise.

But in all of their hurry, they're blind as a bat

To the jewels that get squashed underneath all of that.

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Oh, the praise! Oh, the blame! And the push from outside!

They smothered the spark that you carried inside!

Your curious itch and your joys just to know

Get squashed by the "have tos," and you no longer glow!

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For inside of you once lived those curious sparks,

That lit up your questions like stars in the dark.

You would wonder and poke, and you'd want to find out,

What the bugs and the moon and the clouds are about!

And the joys, simple joys, of just learning a thing,

Danced for no praise and no blame on a puppeteer's string!

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But the praise and the blame and the "Think of what's next!"

Pile on top of those sparks with those big heavy texts,

Till they sputter and fade and they fizzle and dry,

As you chase those gold stars and lose the gleam in your eyes.

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So schooling turns learning to "have tos" and “musts,”

With homework to slog through to shun getting cussed.

And your wonder gets hijacked, all twisted and wrung,

Till the joys you once sang die away on your tongue.

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"Real life," so they say, starts a long way ahead,

When the tests are all done and the homework is dead.

So today is just practice, a line where you wait,

And the living you'd love gets pushed off till "too late."

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Then you finish! You graduate! Cap on your head!

And you pile up your books for a bonfire red!

You dance round the flames with a whoop and a cheer,

"I'm free of that 'have to'! I'm done with it here!"

Not a book you'll crack open, not one, not a page,

For they've taught you that wonder belongs in a cage.

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Oh, the praise! Oh, the blame! And the push from outside!

They smothered the spark that you carried inside!

Your curious itch and your joys just to know

Get squashed by the "have tos," and you no longer glow!

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So look, if you teach, or you raise, or you learn,

Let the spark have its space, let it take every turn!

Let the questions run wild, let the wonder run free,

Let your learning be joy, not a “have to” decreed.

For the joys of just learning are reason enough,

No praise and no blame, no carrot-and-stick stuff!

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Oh, the praise! Oh, the blame! And the push from outside!

They smothered the spark that you carried inside!

Your curious itch and your joys just to know

Get squashed by the "have tos," and you no longer glow!